July 2008
18 posts
2 tags
Dear Diary: It's not dead.
It was just feeling a little notsome for a while. =/
Funny word of the moment: Shma-shmortion. =D
4 weeks until college. WOW. I need to start spending my time a bit wiser. Zomg, Sahana! It will be hard for me to help run the guild while I’m concentrating on classes and such. :( I didn’t even think about that. >.< But I’m sure I can do it! :D I love ya.
I’m going college clothes shopping...
Dear Diary: I killed this website.
Yea, it’s dying.
2 tags
Dear Diary: Jealousy
Jealousy is such a strange thing.
Why are we jealous?
~Elaine.
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Dear Diary: Content
My goal for this summer is to learn how to be content with what I have. Therefore hopefully, I’ll be much more amiable, kind, and most importantly content. I’ve come to this decision because I know I’m going in for a heartbreak this summer. I don’t want it to affect me. But, I don’t want to ignore it. Because we all know how that concludes…bottling my emotions...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Frustrated.
I’m so frustrated. I can’t do anything. I feel horrible and sick and lazy all the time. I want to go out and my parents are my only barrier. Usually parents are the ones who force their Internet obsessed children to go and explore the outside world. So how come my parents won’t let me do anything. Fuck, I hate it. It irritates me to no end. It’s not like i don’t know...
2 tags
Dear Diary: What's been bothering me.
The fact that I’m leaving for college has made me sensitive. I’m not going to see my boyfriend for a long time. Of course, I’ll see him on short breaks, and during the summer. But basically I’m going to be gone for the next four years.
So - the fact that Nate and I don’t talk very much / about anything important, and all the little things he does that annoy me, mixed with my sensitivity/worry...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Hows this for lack of actviity...
I make up for my lack of blogging. By posting a bunch of blogs that contain my thoughts and feelings from my vairous moods. If you can’t tell. I’m quite moody.
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Dear Diary: Patience is what I was named after.
So how come I lack any sort of patience what so ever.
Fuck, I’m such a fuckin failure.
Grr.
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Dear Diary: I'm Pathetic
I typed his number. All I have to do is press the talk button.
But I can’t do it…
=/
I’m such a failure. Oh so pathetic. God damn. I should do it.
I will…hopefully?
2 tags
Dear Diary: askfhasklfhksdhgjksa
I stay up waiting only to be disappointed. I wait only to be disappointed. What is the use? I give up. This isn’t supposed to make me feel worse. I need a salvation. I thought you were mine. But, you’re driving me insane. I give up. I’m done. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m done.
I’m finished.
2 tags
Dear Diary: Love
How do you know when you’re in love with someone? How do you know that a person is right for you to spend the rest of your life with? Are they someone you are willing to wake up next to every morning? Are they someone whose hand you won’t mind holding even when you are furious mad at them? Love changes as you hold on to it, evolves over the years spent with that person. Are you someone...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Blegh.
I got my room mate information in the mail!! Hurrah! *excited dance* :) Her name is Jessica, and she’s from Oregon. Hmm. I hope she’s nice. I’m going to email her. But I’m not sure what I should say. =/
Today is the 4th of July. Yay. Happy independence day. :) I’m not sure what I’m doing, my family hasn’t talked about it at all. Or anything. Which is...
1 tag
“Fat thighs, no ass, no tits. Bony, scrawny, clothes never fit just right. Shy,...”
– Me (Sahana); describing myself to Elaine.
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Dear Diary: Yay
My glasses are here. I have no way of picking them up but I’m going to go and get them and be the most happiest girl in the world :D.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!1 NEW PICTURES, HECK YES D:.
Oh BTW, yesterday was fun. Went job hunting and applied to a bunch of places and I’m going to go again this Saturday:). I can’t wait D:. I’m so excited :). I have a pretty good feeling...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Good Morning
*yawn*
Last night was fun. After playing two hours or so of Guitar Hero, I came back online and talked to Nate for a bit. He went to bed around 6:20-ish, probably take away a little. Anyways, Brittany came online at about 6:40, and told me she was going to the movies with her boyfriend Sean and lots of other people.
I DIDN’T invite myself, rofl, but I did say, “You should come over here and get...
2 tags
Dear Diary: I have an addiction
So my sister unplugged the Internet on me while I was having such an intriguing conversation. Grr. Oh well. I’m sure I wasn’t greatly missed. But, curiosity did kill the cat. So I’m curious to know what they talked about but I will never know.
I woke up at 7:32 a.m. today. I had no bloody reason too. Other than the fact that it was freezing and I was practically naked. Not good....
2 tags
Dear Diary: Fuck.
Lately life’s been hectic. Or it’s just me… making it hectic. I have so many issues. I swear I am one fucked up child. I wish I could restart with all my memories intact. Become a better child, sister, friend. Sometimes I feel like i’m not good enough for people. Okay, thats how I feel most of the time.
Man, I’m going insane, and you seem just fine. I don’t...
2 tags
Dear Diary: So!
I’m uber friggin’ excited because I got an email in my college inbox saying that my room mate information was going to be mailed the week of July 1st. AND on their website it was posted (I’m not sure if it was yesterday or the day before) that the letters had been sent out!! ZOMGYAY! I really hope I get the info today. I’m so excited to see who I’m going to be living with for the next 8 months or...
June 2008
12 posts
2 tags
Dear Diary: A Little of Me [Rambling]
I am a wordy person. I like words, and I use them a lot. Too much. Is it possible to overuse language? Where it may take someone a sentence, maybe two to describe something and get their point clearly across - I have to write paragraphs, go back and edit, add things, follow wandering thoughts, etc. I don’t know if that is necessarily a bad thing; it just is.
In the past that wordiness has...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Not in the mood for blogging.
Today was a good day. I went to work with my dad, and finally got legal tires on my car. And renewed the insurance for the next two months. I sure am going to drive the hell out of my car before I leave to college in August.
It was fun hanging around the guys. Meaning Stevie, Johnie, and my dad. Plus 15 minutes of hell with Justin. >.< They’re all perverts, but Justin is just a...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Who am I?
Lately I feel like such a bad kid and a little whorish. It’s odd. When i’m with him im happy but after wards i feel guilty and hopeless. What if my parents found out? *sigh* I really really really like him. A lot :D. Everytime I think about him i’m smiling or close to laughing. Lately his been taking up a larger portion of my mind. It’s odd. I wiould never have thought...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Dreams and Drama
Last night I had a dream that I got a little kitten who was orange and white, and then she turned a really really dark gray, almost black, with one white leg. I named her Doria Gray. What’s that supposed to mean?
Yesterday I hung out with my boyfriend. It was fun, even if I’m boring and usually can never come up with fun ideas of stuff to do. Oh well. At Borders he told me that when...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Mass of Hormonal Imbalances
Yes. I am going out with someone. Hurrah! OMG WHAT A BLOODY EFFING SURPRISE. Like what the shit is that supposed to mean. Oh nothing. Right, right. You feel it appropriate to confess your undying love for me. Jerk. You feel the need to tell me how I should ‘be’ with my bf. What kind of monkey shit is that. Oh ‘be clean with him… at least until you graduate’. What the...
2 tags
Dear Diary: The small joys of life.
Today I bought some more flowers. They’re called Snapdragons. I’ve bought them before in the past, they are one of my favorite flowers. Of course, lilacs will always be my most favorite. :D
I love flowers. Have you ever thought about how wonderful life is, giving you this little gift of beauty? A little bright color, a small drift of scent to your nose. It’s absolutely amazing, seeing each day as...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Untitled
I’m confused. I don’t know anymore. My life… it’s like it’s not mine anymore. I’m an outsider staring into the life of another. What is to be expected of me? I don’t know anymore. I’m such a disappointment. To my family, friends, teachers, everyone…
A burden on their shoulders.
Maybe I am depressed. Or bi-polar. Who knows? Everything in this...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Ugh!
My dad makes me so angry. I hate how he can be silly and nice and lovable one moment, and then the next it’s like a storm is about to be unleashed upon you from his furious gaze. I hate it.
It makes me so angry. I want to smack him, and scream and shout in his face. Just tell him what an asshole he’s being. He doesn’t have to be so mean to me for no flippin’ reason. ARGH.
...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Change
I don’t know anymore. Life seems like a dream. Is it real? My life isn’t a piece of trash like it used to be anymore. I guess like vacuums it tends to lose it sucktion after a while. But lately my life has been to surreal. I think my life can’t possibly be any worse and I meet someone who makes me feel special. A lot special. It’s quite funny though. I do not know what he...
2 tags
Dear Diary: Like, whoaa.. My life.
I feel like my life is spinning off of the tracks, and I’m leaning as hard as I can to throw it back, but it’s just not enough. So far almost a month of my summer has been spent doing nothing. I start college in August, and I should get up and start doing stuff before I have to leave. What happened to all the fun ideas my friends and I had when we were anticipating this summer?
And...
2 tags
Dear Diary,
My life is not what is once was. No more a void. No more a black hole. No more a vaccum the sucks away my happiness. I think i’m happy for once. I believe it’s because of him. He’s absolutely adorable. He’s seet, caring, funny, corny, and best of all he’s mine. I don’t know much about love, lust, even infatuation. But I know one thing for sure....
1 tag
Asphyxiate
as·phyx·i·ate /æsˈfɪksiˌeɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[as-fik-see-eyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -at·ed, -at·ing. –verb (used with object)
1.to produce asphyxia in.
2.to cause to die or lose consciousness by impairing normal breathing, as by gas or other noxious agents; choke; suffocate; smother. –verb (used without object)
3.to become asphyxiated.
...